Speaking to the Best in Others

A few years ago I agreed to speak to a large group of teenagers about creativity. I do things like that from time to time.The trouble was that at this particular moment I was angry with teenagers. I’m not one of those people who has always been critical of that age group, by the way. On the contrary, I’ve typically enjoyed them. But I’d become prejudiced against them for a very specific reason. 

My oldest daughter was in ninth grade and it was not going well. I can’t emphasize that enough, but I’ll try. IT. WAS. NOT. GOING. WELL!!!! She’s a kind, beautiful soul who is seen and appreciated by so many people now, but it was not so in ninth grade. If any of you were bullied in your younger years you know how badly that can go. Or if any of you have ever witnessed a dear friend or child walking that lonely road then you know the pain that accompanies it. My daughter was in such terrible pain, and because I love her, I was in pain too. 

I walked into the room to speak to those teenagers about creativity and it felt like I was going to speak to the collective enemy of my daughter’s health and happiness. I had a grudge on an entire generation and I wasn’t happy to be there for the express purpose of encouraging them. No! But then as I began to speak, something mysterious happened… 

I saw their faces. 

Shy faces. Hopeful faces. Lost faces. Trying-to-figure-out-who-they-are-faces. They were not enemies. They were beautiful souls in a very challenging and disorienting time of life. Each of them in their own way reflected God, because He made them. As I told them about all sorts of things, I saw hope flash in their eyes. At least in some of them. Some let their guards down and laughed. Some reminded me of my daughter and I prayed quick, darting prayers for them—wondering if they knew how lovely and how loved they truly were. I tried to look right at them and tell them that they count. That they are somebodies. Every single one of them. 

Afterwards a crowd of young men and women came up, thanked me and gave me hugs. They had no idea what they’d done for me. Broken through my unforgiving and bitter heart and reminded me how to look for the good in others. I’m so grateful to them for that.

I’ve found that when I speak to the best in a person, their best self usually answers. And when I speak to the worst in a person, their worst self usually answers.  I went into that room with those kids’ worst selves in the forefront of my mind, but God graciously showed me their best.

Blessings to you this week, friends. You count! 

~Amy