Blank Canvases and Ugly Underpaintings
No matter how many times I paint pictures, I still experience that initial feeling of intimidation—staring at the blank canvas. And again I feel it as I face the ugly underpainting. I have to remember where I’m headed and hold onto the meaning I’m reaching for.
Right now I’m working on a painting with a lot of glow in it. And anytime there’s going to be a lot of glow, there’s a lot of shadows too. I put the shadows in the underpainting to bring that feeling of mystery, depth and strong contrast to the final picture. But in the early stages, it looks gloomy and harsh. I feel inclined to “rescue” the painting out of this dreary stage and return it to happier colors right away. But if I do, then it won’t have that powerful glow in the end.
It’s like that with life sometimes too. The future often looks like a blank canvas. Daunting! And at times the present can look like an ugly underpainting. And when it does, all I want to do is return to happy colors. There’s nothing wrong with wanting happiness, as far as I know. But I love to remind myself that God redeems even the ugliest underpaintings in life. And He builds depth out of the shadows.
Isaiah 53 says, “He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face, He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. Surely our griefs He Himself bore, and our sorrows He carried; yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed.”
I find those verses the most hope-filled of all the scriptures. Because surely there’s never been a greater crime than God Himself being put to death. There’s never been an uglier underpainting than that. And yet, God redeemed it into the the most beautiful gift of all time. If He can redeem such darkness, surely He can redeem every other shadow we face. I don’t know how He’ll do it but based on these verses, I believe He will. This is why I trust Him. Entirely because of this.
We’re all living in various stages of the underpainting, aren’t we? But we can take heart that it is a glorious painting. Even the darkness will be redeemed and all along, somehow, the light is winning.
~Amy