From Fear into Courage

A few weeks ago I realized I’d made a mistake. Not an uncommon realization, but it was an uncommonly big mistake, and a silly one, and it left me feeling so foolish. You know that feeling? Where you see yourself in light of an embarrassing moment, and you just want to hide?

I’ve shared in previous blog posts about how as a child I used to dread hearing the teacher call my name to come collect a paper or test. I still remember that feeling of racing heart and clammy hands—walking between the rows of desks, knowing that all eyes were on me. My fear was that I might trip and be embarrassed in front of my classmates who made up so much of my world at the time.

I’m still the same person so many years later, still afraid of tripping in front of the class, only the class has grown much larger now and sometimes my missteps have bigger consequences. When that old fear came calling last week, I ran to God for help. I asked Him to please be gracious again, as He has been so many times before and He reminded me that He is my fortress and my hiding place. Since then I’ve felt like a child, drawn close to my Father, wanting to stay very still. And slowly, from that place He’s been drawing me back out of fear and into courage.

Matthew 11:29 says, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” I wonder if the kind of humility Jesus calls me to imitate, is a sort of armor and balm for the sting of embarrassment?

Embarrassment is rooted in the desire to look good or impressive and the fear of looking just the opposite. It’s focussed on an image of self, projected before a crowd. But God calls me to adopt a new vision. He calls me to draw near and see from His perspective which is so different from my own. The act of leaning in and borrowing His view is an act of humility—leaving my own sight behind and exchanging it for His. Jesus, as the Son of God, said to His Father in Luke 22:42, “Not My will but Yours be done.” Jesus invites me to imitate Him—His gentle and humble heart. And when I do, He quiets my fears and draws me into courage.

Blessings to you this week as He draws you into Courage,

~Amy

Amy GrimesComment